A bolt from the blue

Updated: Mar 8, 2019

by Mel Parry.........

My trip into the realms of anxiety and depression came like a bolt from the blue. I'd always been so laid back, nothing phased me and I took things in my stride. My Mum used to say that if I was any more laid back, I would be horizontal... How things can change in an instant... Brought on by trauma, losing a brother and a very acrimonious relationship breakdown a few months later, my life changed and not for the better. Suddenly, all my motivation for life slipped away, I went to work and coped with it well but at home, I did nothing. I lay on the sofa, the TV was on but I wasn't really watching anything, I couldn't sleep and would lie awake until I dropped off for maybe an hour, then I would be awake again, not knowing what to do and praying I would get enough sleep to be able to work the next day. Of course, I didn't tell anyone and kept thinking, I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll clean the house. Tomorrow I'll cut the grass but tomorrow never came... I'm not sure how I came to ask for help, I think it was because I couldn't get my breath, it was like trying to breathe over a wall, then the yawning would start and once it did, I couldn't stop. This could go on for half an hour or more at a time and the more I tried to take a deep breath in, the more I couldn't do it and then I would burst into tears. My GP was amazing and told me that no matter how strong a person is, sometimes we all need help and gave me medication to help cope with the feelings of anxiousness I was struggling with. I am very lucky that I have such a close knit, wonderful family and we are all there for each other. I also have a wonderful friendship support network and Wendy has been one of the main rocks in my life, together with another very special close friend. I dread to think where I might have been if I hadn't found help when I did. My journey back to my previous self is far from over. I still struggle with anxiety and I don't know if I will ever be the same as I was before but I do know that it is so important to take the help that's offered and grab it with both hands while you can.

( Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash)


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